Learning, Growing, Loving

Though I have been happily married to my wonderful husband for over 11 years, sometimes nostalgia hits, like a semi truck crashing head-on into my thoughts, as it did this morning.  I get a glimpse of my past and shudder.

When my first husband and I divorced (about 15 years ago), he said I was “stupid and stubborn.” Those words have resonated in my mind and these many years later I can appreciate the honesty and truth in them. I was stupid and stubborn, and, sometimes, I still am. I destroyed a good life in search of something “better.” I broke apart my family in hopes of something “more.” What I didn’t realize then was that “better” is always possible and within our reach. I didn’t have to change my life, just adjust my attitude. “More” can be found in our present reality if we only take a chance and look inside, instead of searching out.

It’s not about regrets (though there are plenty), it’s not about what ifs (they are nonexistent). It’s about learning, about growing, about loving. It’s about forgiving the past, about enjoying my present: my husband, my daughter and son, my family. Above all, it’s about praising God for second chances!

My past and my present melt… there’s today…. and the future.

I love my husband infinitely more than I can say, and I am so grateful for his love, understanding and acceptance. I look forward to the rest of my life with him! And, as my children grow and become independent adults, I anticipate the many blessings they’ll continue to bring to my life.

PS: My dear children: I am sorry, sorry for hurting you and your dad with my stupidity and stubbornness. You two are the loves of my life!

Remember not the former things,
nor consider the things of old.
Behold, I am doing a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
(Isaiah 43:18-19)

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